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Creating the Perfect Guestlist for Your Wedding on Long Island

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Creating the Perfect Guestlist for Your Wedding on Long Island

Creating the Perfect Guestlist for your Wedding on Long Island

One of the most important parts of any wedding is who’s there. You’re celebrating one of the most special and memorable days of your life, and having that perfect mix of friends and family around you is vital to your wedding. But it can also be one of the most difficult aspects to figure out: get even one table wrong, and people will either think you’ve slighted them, or want to send them a certain message by seating them with specific people. We’ve come to the rescue, though, and have put together a how-to guide for you on creating the perfect guestlist for your Long Island wedding.

Step 1: Figure out Your Long Budget

How much money you have or are willing to spend will dictate just about everything when it comes to your guestlist, so sit down with your partner and come to a figure you’re both comfortable spending. It’s also important to remember that whether you’re spending $10,000 or $100,000, a guestlist is more a matter of strategic planning than being able to spend your way out of a scenario.

Another factor when it comes to your budget is the kind of reception you’ll be having. Long Island wedding vendors tend to charge more for weekend and holiday weddings, as well as evening receptions (as opposed to afternoon ones). This can be a good area to compromise in when figuring out your guestlist. Say you’ve settled on a number of 50 guests: having a smaller set gives you more flexibility to spend larger in other areas, such as hosting your reception on a Saturday evening in New York and serving nicer food.

Step 2: Agree on the Guests

When it comes to who’s actually going to be invited to your wedding reception, there’s a bit of compromising you’ll have to do with your partner, for they’ll need to get their fair share of invited guests, too. Seats should be divided equally — unless you’ve come to the agreement that one of you is okay with inviting a greater or fewer number of guests — so that things are as fair as possible.

For example, if you’ve both come to the agreement that you’ll be invited 200 guests, you get to choose 75, your partner gets to choose 75, and the remaining 50 should be split between your families (25 per family). Sometimes, the guestlist may overlap with mutual friends or acquaintances, but this is the easiest way to ensure everyone gets their own pick.

Step 3: Narrowing Down the Invited Guests

Once you’ve agreed on the number of guests, it’s time to starting selecting who you actually want to be there. Your list should be divided into three sections:

  • The “absolutely” must have: family and close friends
  • The “almost absolutely” should be there: friends, coworkers, friends of the family
  • The “nice to have” or the “do we have to” list: distant relatives, old friends, children of guests
  • Every venue will welcome adults, but not every venue will be amenable to having children there, so you have to factor that in carefully when it comes to the third section. Another thing to consider is if you’ll be allowing plus ones to attend, and whether or not those plus ones will be children. It’s totally fine if you want to keep it adults-only, but if that’s your choice, make sure to specify that on the invitations — and stick to your guns. If guests give you a hard time about it, politely explain that on your wedding day, you want to keep a certain atmosphere and while you love their children, you’re thinking of all the guests’ comfort.

    Step 4: Knowing Who to Say No To

    There are a couple of last points you should keep in mind:

  • Ex-partners do not get invited to your wedding. There are exceptions to this, of course, such as if you’re really close to your ex, broke up fairly amicably and a long time ago, and — most importantly — if your partner is okay with their presence. If even one box is ticked off, do not invite them.
  • Knowing something personal about a potential guest is reason enough to not invite them, such as a current or recovering alcoholic and having an open-bar wedding. You have to keep everyone in mind here, and if one guest could potentially spoil things for the lot, it’s better to leave them out.
  • Do not let anyone twist your arm about the guestlist, especially family members. It’s your day and your preferences, and if they want to see someone invited, they can wait for their wedding. If you’re having problems with anyone, nicely say, “Mildred, I appreciate what you’re saying, but my partner and I have to stick to our plan very closely.” Keep repeating that and don’t allow yourself to become engaged in a debate. And remember, if you bend once, you’ll bend again, and it will become that much easier for people to take advantage of you.

    When it comes to your wedding day, there’s only one company that can do everything right: Windows on the Lake. We specialize in weddings of all types and sizes, whether you’re hosting an intimate wedding on Long Island or a big gala in the heart of New York. Contact us today to make sure your wedding is the wedding of your dreams.